The creator of Heavycloud wishes for constructive criticism from the community.
This page has been marked for other users' critiques, and is a work in progress and/or being renovated.
Remember to take the creator's feelings into consideration when commenting. Rude and/or offensive comments will be deleted, and risk a ban on your account.
"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you or him."
Resides in Starclan
Maine Coon X Exotic Shorthair X Persian
Smells like fish..trouts specifically..sometimes wet stones.
Heavycloud is a sweet, softhearted tom. He has a plump, rounded stomache, chubby legs, and fat cheeks. His stomache, loaded with fish he's eaten over the day. He doesn't take the talent as fat as much as he does "fish breath". He can be bitter at times when arguements disrupt his calm mood. It's very difficult to make him angry, in fact it's said that he doesn't have a temper. On top of being calm and sweet he's very timid. He's afraid of almost everything, probably one of the most cowardly warriors you'll ever meet.
He loves fishing and swimming. He has a high reputation for eating, but he usually replaces his gobbled up prey with a fattened fish in the preypile. He loves the snow---though Heavycloud hasn't ever been seen playing in the stuff---he rolls in it, sits there and sleeps. The reason why he's never been seen is due to the fact he's usually mistaken for a rock or a muddy mound.
Heavycloud dislikes climbing, and another cats attitude. He doesn't like fighting at all. In fact he's very bad at it. His mentor even said that he'd be no use to the clan because of his poor strength. Heavycloud doesn't like anyone who takes their anger on him. He has an odd dislike for Voidfur and he sometimes likes to find ways to disagree with him.
He is very fond of his late parents Dayspring and Cottonspore. His late sister, Beewing, infact was one of his best friends, he misses her so much but doesn't tend to mention her often. His mate is dead too, and so his kit, he never saw his own kit but he saw Eaglefeather a lot, and now she's dead, he misses her. After that he is mates with Snowflight. He tends to forget other cats that he speaks to...
Heavykit was a happy and healthy kit, so was his sister, Beekit. Ofcourse they lived out normal lives as kits. It was so filled with life and joy and pleasure. The clan that Heavykit came from was dealing with no troubles at all. They had plenty of food, territory, and a bright future. Heavykit was going to grow up brave and strong, thats what his mother, Cottonspore, thought. She loved her kits dearly. When he was an apprentice he was teased for being plumper and more a glutton that most. His sister always took his defense. Until their parents died. A punch of rouges had attacked both of their mother and killed her. His father, Dayspring, soon after died of greencough. Beepaw fell under depression and her only comfort source was her brother. She continued to take care of him as they grew into warriors. Although things didn't look up after that. Heavycloud and Beestripe, both were seperated by two legs. Heavycloud was taken in as a kittypet and named Fatso. He was cared for gently, still maintaing his rounded shape. The twolegs loved him more than he could take. He still wanted his sister. So he left. And found her dead. She had starved the death, a cat named Sparks had told him that she had been looking for him, but she fell ill and died.
Later on he had found Bearclan's camp, he was struggling to stay alive. He had fallen into the same depression. He felt as if he'd share the same fate as his sister. But he didn't, he was nursed back to health and now fights as a warrior in Bearclan.
Why so, tubby?
Did it ever feel to such a spoiled cat such as Heavy to feel near death moments. He feels like killing himself. Everyday he does, he misses his mother and his father and his sister. I guess we should go deeper in.
Heavykit and Beekit tusseled in the snow, it was fresh is was endeering to them. So majestic did they see it. It was cold. His fat and his fur kept him safe from the cold. And when done, Beekit sheltered beside him, comforting his little nibs of cold with her own warm licks. Their father had just returned from hunting, their mother and some pregenet queens huddled in the back of one large nest in one large den. Dayspring set a mouse near Heavykit to gooble up. He insited on take a bite without her ripping off the fur for him. He hated the taste and immmeditely spit it out. He cried and wouldn't eat from the torn part until he had recieved something else, something much more tasty, a fish. He devored the small trout, and would only eat small trout like so while his sister developed tough teeth like a normal warrior would.
Heavycloud's family tree
BRIGHTHEART= IN LOVE/MATES/ TOGETHER IN STARCLAN OR DARKFOREST
Heavycloud loves fish in general. Most of his main diet is up the stinky creatures in the water. He finds them easy to hunt, he considers his fishings skills a talent of his. His really well at catching fish. He hardly ever misses.
Heavycloud will sometimes eat those slimy green greatures. He actually considers them a treat. His diverse diet almost gives him an uper hand on hunting. He finds frogs easier to catch because they are alot slower on land like he is.
Heavycloud, if tired of fishing, will go near a bank and hunt from for fish eggs. He considers then to be like a candy. They also take up alot of his diet.
Heavycloud finds bugs the easiest prey to catch. He can just dig up a worm. Sometimes he uses his catches to bait prey along his mouth.
Heavycloud rairly eats these but if he does, they are usually shared. He isn't very resistant to eat rabbits, nor hunt them, but they are quite difficult for him to hunt.
End note: If you choose to critique my page, please I wish the character to be judged, not the appeal or desgin of the page. The page isn't important, this is an oc page after all and its all about content, not desgin, thank you